HI, EVERYBODY!!! A Paid Advertisement from Your Good Friend “Wild Child Tony”
Hey, fellow Bulldogs! W’sup?! First of all, welcome back to high school! I do hope your summer was absolutely fantastic and that you had many interesting experiences! Mine was pretty good. I stayed right here in this building, just like I have for the past twenty-two years. Wasn’t bored, though. Learned how to type! And […]
Note For The Cat Sitter
Fellow Tenant: The fact that you are reading this note indicates that you have safely made it through the deactivated front door and are now standing before the kitchen table reading this note. While I realize that other activities most certainly exist to occupy your valuable night, you must also be assured that you will […]
The On-Going, Insanely Exciting Adventures of the Apple Valley High Gang (Co-Starring Tobi, the Wondrous Sleuth Dog) Volume 1 (of 36): Free Mumia! The On-Going, Insanely Exciting Adventures of the Apple Valley High Gang (Co-Starring Tobi, the Wondrous Sleuth Dog) Volume 1 (of 36): Free Mumia!
AT THE BANANA HUT . . . It was Friday afternoon and Cindi was once again in love. “I’m in love,” said Cindi, softly. “I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love.” “Really?” asked Dani sarcastically. She took a bite from a french fry and then continued: “Who is it this time? Johnny? Billy? […]
Scared Straight: The Home Detention Speech
Performed by Bob Peretz, 48, home detained since June 1999, tax fraud Visitor: Steven Rhodes, 23, roofer June 14, 2003, 10:45 a.m 10321 Beachwood Drive, Rockville, Maryland Steven Rhodes: “Hello there. I hope I’m not interrupting anything. My name is Steven Rhodes. Mrs. Collins next door told me that you might be interested in having your […]
Rejection Fantasies
Fantasy #1. “Yesterday’s Dreams” Every so often I’ll pass a beautiful, young woman on my way into work who looks very similar to many of the young, beautiful women who wouldn’t sleep with me when I was 17. True story. —M.R., Oregon Fantasy #2. “Docile Dominatrix” “Lick my feet, you son of a stinking […]
Today, June 17th, is “You Day”! Do Something Utterly Self-Indulgent (“Just For You!”)
Fun Suggestions . . . Perform saucy somersaults for strangers; it’s free. Deflower young virgins in order to extract their youthful spirits. Throw ping-pong balls at that family of con artists, they live in your grandmother’s basement, they tend to become easily startled; especially the shy one who wears the tube socks on his arms. […]
Blood, Honor & Three Credits
ROBIN WILLIAMS: Improvising For His Life
Robin Williams is extraordinary tonight. Robin Williams has never been more in the zone. He is a comedic dynamo and his improvisations have never been more “out there.” More deliciously humorous. And yet more connected to what we, as human beings, find relevant and utterly fascinating. Robin Williams sits in my basement death pit. Make […]
