The 2008 American Auto Show
Kama Sutra: The Corrections
New Emoticons for 2007
Two Previously Known and Fifteen Brand-New Closing Signatures, to be Inserted at the End of Your Love Letters For Valentine’s or Any Other Day
X = a kiss O = a hug R = a saucy lick T = a meaningful pat on your high, yummy ass, not too hard, not too soft, now you try it on me, perfect, that’ll do just fine. I = remember that day at the park? That day when we walked hand-in-hand alongside […]
A Leaflet Dropped Over Amy Weller’s House
Amy Weller, my girlfriend, my love, please look up. The thousands of brightly colored leaflets that you see cascading down from this rented airplane can only mean one thing: That I am an extremely successful businessman, community leader, boyfriend, bon vivant. There is no denying these facts. To think otherwise would be 100 percent wrong. […]
Sex-A-Day Positions
Monday The “Multi-Tasking While Filling Out A Sudoku Puzzle” Tuesday The “I Need to Wear These Driving Gloves Because of My Eczema” Wednesday The “I Can’t Believe We Just Met on Craigslist” Thursday The “How Do You Like My Giant Foam Cowboy Hat” Friday The “Please Don’t Eat the Chili-Dog on Our New […]
“Rockin’ It, Frat-Party Style!” A Short Story Geared to College Students, Written by a Thirty-Something Author
“What up, chief?” asked Larry. He had just finished soccer practice and was now sucking back on a bottle of his favorite brew, 40-Dog Buzz. Nothing, friend,” said Kyle. They had been best buds for three years now. And Kyle knew absolutely everything about Larry. Including Larry’s intense hunger for “vagina.” “How was math class?” […]
A Web Log or “Blog” Started in an Attempt for Me, Gary Kimball, To Get Closer to My Fifteen-Year-Old Son, Marcus
July 24: HEY, MARCUS!!! IT’S YOUR OL’ MAN HERE AND I’M DOING SOME “BLOGGING” at an Internet Café! PRETTY COOL HUH? This is like the future! Well, I’m starting this “blog” so that we can talk on a more regular basis. Ever since your Mom threw me out of the house for pursuing my dream of […]
Better in Theory . . .
Doin’ it in a hot tub Being pampered by a bathroom attendant The plot arc to “Stairway to Heaven” Movies that feature hot-air balloons, elephants or Ben Stiller Armed revolution “Secret songs” at the end of CDs Menu items described as “beer battered” Documentaries on incredibly violent, yet surprisingly kind-hearted pimps All-star games of any […]
More Better in Theory . . .
Bjork A sponge-bath from the “overnight” nurse Licking the alphabet “down there” Home golf simulators An SNL Digital Short Hearing a neighbor couple “get it on” Ripping up a parking ticket Titty cams Homemade sausage The “Casual Encounters” section on Craigslist Rick Rubin-produced comebacks “Outsider” art A weekend at the paintball tourney, just you and […]
