Physical-Therapy Exercises for Other Injurious Situations
109 Things Not to Say at a Job Interview
#1. “Sorry I’m late. I could have sworn you said ‘San Francisco.’” #2. [Winking] “Golly, I have no idea how that ten dollar bill just appeared on your desk.” #3. “Can we wrap this up? I’d really hate to hit rush hour.” #4. “Just out of curiosity, how long do you caché visited websites?” #5. “Do me a kindness, and […]
125 Reasons We Can’t Sleep
#1. Pajama ass-flap keeps flopping open adorably #2. Keep hitting speed bumps #3. Hide-a-Bed too well hidden #4. Larry King won’t stop snoring #5. Can’t get those Nazi war crimes out of your head #6. That roast beef sub you found in the bus station bathroom just ain’t sitting right #7. Person in next hostel bunk won’t stop screaming out in Afrikaans […]
130 Secret-Santa Gifts to Avoid
#1. Deployment orders to Iraq #2. A litter of feral cats #3. A postcard that reads: “On vacation in Bahamas. Will send gift from airport.” #4. The pamphlet: Healthy Hygiene Habits That Benefit Everyone! #5. Your business card #6. Your grandmother’s invaluable gold bracelet that was hidden away just before she perished in the Holocaust #7. A monogrammed bedroom aid you once bought […]
102 Self-Help Books You Can Do Without
#1. I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Get Off My Face #2. He’s Just Not That Into You: He’s Into Your Hotter, Less Whiny Friend #3. Seven Habits of Highly Successful Dock Whores #4. The Book About Angels for Morons #5. Suck It Up: No One in the Sudan Has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome #6. Chicken Soup for the Impotent #7. Six Weeks […]
100 Icebreakers to Avoid
You only get one chance to make a first impression. We recommend you avoid the following icebreakers . . . 1. “You might recognize me from your window.” 2. “You’re not going to believe how many pig anuses the average hot dog contains.” 3. “Quick: Name your top five favorite Phil Collins tunes.” 4. “This […]
142 Reasons You’re Still Single
You . . . #1. Will do anything for “shits and giggles” #2. Own a 60-inch flat-screen Plasma television, but sleep on a broken futon #3. Don’t like Insane Clown Posse’s music per se, but think his philosophy is sound #4. Have a ferret on your shoulder, and you’re at the mall #5. Wink in […]
Funny Letters from Summer Camp and Their Not-So-Funny Responses
Dear Mummy and Daddy: Camp is fun and I’m eating a lot of candy!!! Kevin today caught a frog and it climbed into his shirt! Todd Dear Todd: Mummy and I are getting a divorce. Will give you specifics when you come home. Tell Kevin’s frog we say hi! Mummy and Daddy ********** Dad […]
Wrong Exit: 117 Worst Places to Die
#1. At the head of a conga line in the Mexican section of EPCOT Center #2. In the buff, during that secret midnight romp on your neighbor’s trampoline #3. Mid-snow angel #4. Crouched in the rafters above the high school girl’s locker room, your janitorial outfit bunched around your ankles #5. At your boss’s daughter’s […]
The Top 10 Best Sellers of 2027
