(humor print)

I Was the Wedding Planner for the Guns N’ Roses “November Rain” Ceremony and Reception

(Originally appeared in McSweeney's)

How We’re Beating the Heat

(Originally appeared in The New Yorker)

Wednesday, 1:35 P.M. (Excerpt from Slouchers)

(Originally appeared on McSweeney's)

Netflix Documentaries We Watched While Under Quarantine

(Originally appeared in New Yorker)

Date Ideas for a Post-Quarantine World

(Originally appeared in New Yorker)

Events We Are Actually Glad Were Cancelled

(Originally appeared in New Yorker)

Saw You On the Q Train

(Originally appeared in Esquire)

Introducing Yelp for Sex Positions

(Originally appeared in GQ)

Ikea Instructions

(Originally appeared in Esquire)

Like It or Unfriend It

(Originally appeared New York Times)